I am a fear seller. In a world where money is made out of selling love, friendship, laughter, hope and even tears, I sell fear. I do this unapologetically and at the cost of being called not aesthetic, crass and B-grade. Hang on, correction; I am a B-grade fear seller. Phew! What a relief it is not to court the hall of fame and jostle for a name in the list of the great artistes of the time. What a relief it is to not be great, or even attempt to be great for that matter!
For those who want to be remembered after they are gone, for those that want to be immortal through their work and for those that think forever is a tangible concept, good luck to them. I have learned that at the end of it all, you’re just a picture on the wall. The seduction of posterity has scant effect on me now. I cannot live in misery to be remembered after I am gone. I rather live well and not bother who shall remember me after I am gone. Many a great have walked this ground for whom we say, “Who that?”
My fight with the sands of time is done. I have always believed that a birth is but a day in the life of a soul and if I have just one day to live there is not much time for a pointless chase.
I am busy looking for my next meal, like a scavenger. I am looking through the dustbin of time for stories and I shall iron them out and put them out to dry on my roadside stall and cry myself hoarse, “Come be afraid!”
I am also tired of the duplicity and I find it pointless trying to fight it. There are some who will cheer the priest reading out of the Bible and using the power of Jesus to exorcise the spirit in an English picture but an Indian Priest using the Vishnu Sahasranaam is regressive cinema. Then regressive it should be!
I can only be what I believe in and I believe in the Hanuman Chalisa and the Vishnu Sahasranaam and the Gajendra Moksh Stotram. I believe in the Mantra and I believe that the power of God will vanquish evil. If that is regressive, if that is funny, if that is illogical, then I am all that but I would rather be something than nothing! I refuse to be ashamed of my beliefs or my God.
I believe there is the Devil and I believe there are souls that are evil and I believe that the Demon will try to seduce you. I believe in all this because I believe in God and if there is God then there has to be the anti-God. How can there be light but not the dark? How can there be the day but not the night? How can there be a two without one?
There are those that will believe the one who says that he has seen God and will bring God to you but you will not believe one that says I have seen evil and there is evil.
There are those that will believe in that Messenger of God who will turn out to be a sex addict and a murderer because he has promised you God and Salvation. You will believe in the Baapu who has to still get bail on rape charges because he said he could introduce you to God. You will believe the one who says that there is an ‘Art of living” and take money from you to teach that art? Really? Dogs live, cats live, monkeys live, there is no Art to living! Life is life! But there are those that will pay to learn the art. They pay because they believe in a template that has been laid out!
Yessir! We live by a template, size zero good other sizes not so good, fair good and dark not good, mountains good and plains not so good, beaches good and cities not so good, sunsets good and sunrise good but noon sun not good. And in that template horror not so good, God seller credible but fear seller, B grade?
And yet I don’t want your praise. I am happy with your money! My spook shop is doing well, you are welcome any time!”